Trixi

My name is Trixi, from Beatrix. I am a cab driver like all my friends here in the main city. I also want to tell you about my daughter Anni and my ex, Karl and shitty Ben.

I didn't particularly like going to school. I did learn how to masturbate there from my girlfriends, but it was never my thing. I masturbated maybe once a month, usually. But with my girlfriends, masturbating was of immense importance, so I let this or that girlfriend masturbate me as often as it was happening, and of course I masturbated her too. I wanted to be accepted in the group, even though I didn't need as many orgasms as they did.

Quickly I learned to do handjobs and blowjobs, following peer pressure. I was 16 and sucking a lot of young dicks at the time. I was one of the few who swallowed the semen, this raised my prestige considerably. So I met Karl at school, he was two years older than me. After a few insignificant blowjobs we fell in love, I at least immortally. He was my husband, I didn't hesitate a bit and let him deflower me. I was in nineth heaven and we fucked like the grown ups, I counted my period days and that was okay. Karl once invited me to his "gentlemen's evening" where usually only his friends were invited and he asked me to give them handjobs and blowjobs, with that I agreed.

The next gentlemen's evening was quite a drunk one and Karl stripped me completely naked under loud yelling of his friends. I was suddenly sober and was ashamed terribly and took refuge on his lap, covering my nakedness bashfully. Maybe I shouldn't have, because we began to cuddle and kiss fiercely and all at once his hard‐on was out and throbbing demanding on my cunt. Karl left my protests unimpressed and soon I was sitting astride his cock. I buried my face on his neck, because I was terribly ashamed that he was now fucking me in front of everyone. I was glad that I was riding Karl's cock with my back to them and soon I was fucking him with all my passion as always. In the final spurt, he spread my ass cheeks wide with both hands and the happy crowd chanted, "Cum! Inject! Squirt‐inside! Squirt‐inside!" And Karl squirted uninhibitedly, and the boys jeered every time as he pushed in deep with each jet. I hid my face, because I was terribly ashamed and at the same time completely horny from our fucking, but I couldn't masturbate now. Gradually I calmed me down and now he fucked me regularly at the gentlemen's evenings in front of his friends. I let out my exhibitionist disposition, lolling naked after fucking and stroking my labia and clit extensively without masturbating in public. But I was only allowed to fuck with him and we soon didn't make a big deal about his buddies watching us. Somehow it was even horny to spread my legs wide and show my pussy to everyone. Karl did not tolerate any contradiction, I also had to fuck with his buddies at the gentlemen's evenings. I needed all my courage at first and suppressed my shame, because Karl wanted it that way. I was physically and emotionally exhausted after the first gentlemen's evening, where I let all his friends fuck me. Only his very best friends were allowed to fuck me, but only with a condom. He was very generous there and I gradually enjoyed fucking a dozen older boys in one evening. — Was I now a hooker?

At the end of our second year I became pregnant. I was devastated when Karl suggested an abortion, that was out of the question for me at all! The principal showed understanding and she let me finish the last year of school. It became colder between Karl and me. I wanted to stay with him at all costs and fucked his friends even more often so hoping not to lose him. They could leave the condom off and I fucked them a dozen times some afternoons. My parents looked the other way when, every half hour, the boys came to fuck. Fucking a young pregnant girl, that was a hit! I later thought with a shudder that I fucked like a bitch in heat with dozens a day, usually there were several guys in my bedroom waiting for their turn or to be allowed to fuck me one more time. Everyone was allowed to fuck me until he dropped, also because I was always horny during pregnancy and still masturbated at night until I dropped. Then, gradually, we lost each other, although I fucked like a fury with all of his buddies.

I finished school and Karl ended our relationship for good. But he promised to pay alimony and he did. I cried because I had to give birth to my child without Karl, but then my big sister, who had a family in the federal capital 600km away, showed up and was by my side during the birth. That's how Anni was born. My parents arranged for a young work colleague of my father, Benjamin, to court me. Like my parents, he was a cab driver and apparently a good match. After six months we married and Ben adopted my daughter. He brought home enough money for me to stay with Anni for a few years.

When she was 5, I started driving a cab. How surprised I was, however, that Karl had also become a cab driver, so there was nothing with university studies and doctorate. Sometimes we drank a coffee together in the canteen, I showed him the latest photos of Anni and he showed me a picture of his wife, it was "the gay Ilse", as we called her at school. He was totally in love with Ilse and hoped that they would have a baby soon.

We each drove our cab, we drank our coffee together at the end of the service and got to know each other better. I told Karl that Ben was nothing special in bed, he fucked me for one‐two minutes every night when he went to bed and didn't give a damn that I never had an orgasm. I only vaguely hinted to Karl that I didn't care and if I wanted to, I could provide the orgasm myself. At that time I never spoke openly about that.

But I told him that Anni was now masturbating every night before she went to sleep, since she was 8. I had discovered it by accident and watched her every night through the crack in the door, she usually fell asleep after some masturbating, I covered her up and turned out the light. I never told Ben, he cares little about child rearing. One noon Anni came home sad and it took me a long time until she told me the reason. The religion teacher had said that masturbating would make one blind and some would also become stupid. I hugged my child and told her what a nonsense that was! Maybe only the teacher was stupid, but everything else was nonsense from the last century! And it was quite all right if she masturbated when she felt like it. She resumed masturbating, but it took a long time for Anni to finally forget the nonsense.

Karl was very sorry that Ilse could not have children, all the gynecologists confirmed it. Ilse was devastated for a while and even wanted to take her own life, babbling about divorce when Karl talked her out of suicide. I reached for Karl's hand, he was really full of shit. And then, out of the blue, Ilse wanted an open marriage. She had fallen in love with a girl and didn't want to hide her lesbian love from him. That she had always had lesbian love affairs he also knew. He had agreed after a long hesitation 'to open' the marriage.

The years came and went, I drank coffee with Karl twice a week and listened to him. I had to tell him except Annis good development hardly something. The every evening hasty sex with Ben was too boring and that I masturbated in the meantime almost every night, was also no conversation material. "We both have shitty love lives," I said sadly. Karl nodded in agreement and shook his head. He was perhaps better off than I was, he said. I looked at him questioningly, what did he mean? After a few moments he gave himself a break and told me everything.

He still loved Ilse with all his heart, he never had another lover. Ilse usually brought her current lover to spend the night. He watched the two making love and since he quickly got a hard‐on, he was allowed to fuck his Ilse in the presence of the mistress. He was only a little inhibited the very first time, after that it was quite normal. He fucked Ilse more often now than before, "because watching the girl's lovemaking makes horny, very horny!" said Karl. I nodded as if I understood and he continued.

Ilse suggested at one point that he should fuck her lover too. He was thunderstruck, but both women looked at his boner. He fucked the girl with a very bad conscience for the first time, but afterwards he was always ready to fuck not only his wife, but also her mistress. Yes, sometimes he was allowed to deflower one or the other, that was quite to Ilse's taste. Meanwhile, almost every one of the mistresses let him fuck her, and he was far from complaining. Ilse seemed to have this cuckoo syndrome, she was obviously keen on seeing her lover being fucked.

Karl's tales kept me busy for days. In my head I saw Karl fucking ever different girls, spurred on by the gay Ilse. I was so unfocused that I almost caused my first fender bender. Went well once again. It stirred me up so much that I masturbated at night as if possessed. Of course I didn't tell anyone. Karl then showed me photos and videos that Ilse had made of him. As cool and unimpressed as I was, that got me insanely horny. I fantasized while masturbating or now sometimes dreamed of fucking with Karl, but I kept it to myself. We were both married, and that weighed heavily for me.

Ben had been caught drunk for the third time, he had to go to jail for 5 days and lost his driver's license for a while, he could forget the job as a cab driver. He was listlessly looking for a job, sat in front of the TV all day and drowned his self‐pity in booze. I couldn't fuck with a drunk anymore, it was that simple — and it was a serious mistake!

One night I came in from the night shift and there was still a light burning in Anni's room. I entered quietly and knew immediately that something was terribly wrong. Anni was sitting on her bed, curled up. Her knees drawn up, her arms and head resting on them. She must have been crying for hours and was now looking at me with tear‐blind eyes. I immediately saw the blood on her thighs, her pajama pants lay tattered on the floor. I got a damp washcloth and wiped the blood from her thighs. I also cleaned her little pussy and sat down with her. She hung around my neck and sobbed, I let her cry.

Maybe an hour had passed before she whispered what had happened. Daddy had come into her room drunk, ripped her pajama pants, and then deflowered and fucked her. Raped, I corrected angrily in a firm voice. She nodded unhappily. "Wait a minute, I'll be right back!" said I, and went downstairs. I rudely woke the snoring Ben and slapped him for minutes until he was really awake. He immediately remembered what a shit he had made, I could see it in his face. "You get out of here right now, you leave town and never come back!" I yelled. "You won't see me or Anni again, or I'll let you rot in jail!" Ben was wide awake and ducked his head at my shouting. He looked at me uncertainly and muttered that I was his wife after all and he just wanted to fuck!

I didn't know later what got into me, but I ripped off my clothes and threw myself on the bed. "Fuck me, you son of a bitch, fuck me and not my innocent child!" I yelled and pulled him, yanking him between my thighs. And the bastard actually fucked me and squirted after a few seconds. He straightened up and grinned, "Are we good again?" I slapped and slapped him, screaming at the top of my lungs. "Get out of here, you filthy pig shit, get out now and forever!" I yelled over and over again, only stopping him slapping when the blood ran out of his nose. I stood up. Anni was standing in the doorway.

I went with her to her room. She said she didn't understand anything at the moment. I would have let Daddy fuck me and then beat his nose bloody. I waited and listened. Ben walked with massive steps as always, slammed the door behind him like never before and then there was silence. I hugged Anni and stammered in her ear that I had chased Dad away forever and that he must never come back. Anni pulled free. "But you let him fuck, I saw it!" and I withstood her wounded look, with very soft knees. I shrugged my shoulders, I couldn't explain it and still can't today. "Maybe I wanted him to realize who he should have raped," I said miserably, knowing that was a poor explanation. But Anni sufficed and she nodded, "oh well!"

Anni apologized, she had never spied us fucking before, but she heard me yelling loudly and went down for it. She had never spied on us fucking before, she said in a tear choked voice. I nodded, I didn't mind, I said. Then, after a moment's thought, I said I would phone the helpline in the morning and then go to the police with her. Anni's eyes widened at first, but then she nodded anxiously. "I'll sleep in your bed tonight," I said, and went downstairs again, locking the door and leaving the key across, just in case.

So it happened, we waited for the attendant from the women's aid who accompanied us to the police. Anni held her own, went with a policewoman to the medical department. She was much braver than I could ever have been. Ben was put on the wanted list. When the policewoman handed me the copy of the protocol, I knew that nothing else would happen.

I phoned the school, they understood my insinuations and Anni stayed at home for a week, me too. I did not argue long with the cab center, it was a family emergency and I'll get back to you in a week, bye! I didn't care at the moment if they fired me, that's how angry I was.

We made the week peaceful, filled with silence and wonderful conversations we never had before. I told her everything, holding nothing back. I told with red ears that I had fucked with a lot of guys during pregnancy, partly out of permanent horniness in pregnancy. Whether there were more than five? Anni asked, looking strained at the tabletop. I laughed, telling the truth was somehow liberating. "I didn't count really," I said miserably, "it was more like 50 than 5, and most of them I fucked several times, 20 times or more. Every one of his best buddies has fucked me at least 100 times in those years." I faltered because I have never summarized it so clearly before.

Anni looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh, I see." I could see her thoughts racing. There were always long pauses in these conversations. "I've been very careful about my virginity up to now, Mommy, but it's destroyed now." I nodded and asked if she had had any sexual experiences at all? Anni was silent for a long time. "We are a different generation, Mommy. I'm 15 and for some time now the boys have been demanding to touch our pussies. I have to go along with that. At 15 you have to do handjobs and blowjobs. If you don't do it, you're an outcast." I nodded and grinned, "it was the same in my youth!" Anni smiled finely. "Maybe our generation isn't as modern as everyone says." Now it was my turn to smile. "The girls sometimes do it with each other," Anni said almost inaudibly. I didn't interrupt her train of thought and waited. "I'm one of those girls who likes to have other girls do it to her," my daughter breathed shamefully. I waited silently. "Maybe I'm a lesbian?" Now that was enough! I said in a firm voice that I didn't think so, I didn't see any signs of that. Anni looked at me from the side. "And you...?" I nodded, "back then it was the same thing among us girls, I was masturbated by lots of girls and then I masturbated her too! But that's why none of us became lesbians, the boys discovered us thank God!" I laughed. Anni also smiled tentatively. "Look, you're 15 now, and you don't have to pay attention to virginity anymore. Gather your experience without coercion and without messing around, let's talk again in two years. If you still prefer girls to boys then, I'll stand by you and support you in everything. I wouldn't have a problem with it if you were really a lesbian, only now I don't think so. Girls play with each other to discover their sexuality, that's just fine."

I got up and searched in the kitchen cupboard. I put the opened packet of condoms on the table. "I would just ask you to use them. An unplanned pregnancy is probably the last thing you need right now." I saw Anni's pained expression, had I gone too far? Anni pushed the package back in disgust. "I'll probably never sleep with a boy or a man, not after this. It horrifies me so!" I went to her and pressed her head against me. "Take your time, my love, take your time!"

I sat down and took her hands in mine. "Can you sleep with me again tonight?" Anni's breath was almost inaudible. I nodded, "Of course!" We sat at the kitchen table for a long time, went shopping together and cooked ourselves hearty steaks with green beans and fries. I took a bottle of red wine with me and drank with Anni for the first time. Yes, yes — alcohol does not solve problems, but it sometimes helps. The week passed quietly and peacefully, the bond between mother and daughter became stronger than ever. Anni had solid ground under her feet again and in the end we both found that life could go on as before. She left off her pajamas in the evening and we both slept naked on her bed.

The last night of this week I woke up. Anni had put a leg over my pussy in her orgasm and was trembling hard. The poor child had not masturbated for a week and now the pent‐up lust and desire burst urgently out of her. She continued masturbating with her eyes closed and her leg slid back and forth over my pussy. I watched her under half closed eyes, she only had a light fluff of pubic hair and she rubbed her clit up and down as always with legs stretched wide apart. I don't know if her leg just happened to rub on my pussy, but I had the impression that she did it knowingly and she got excited at the thought of exciting me too. Anyway, I opened my legs slowly and let her leg rub upon my clit. She came gasping to orgasm and continued after a short break. I saw the fine smile around her lips when she noticed that I was shaking like a leaf and she rubbed my clit very purposefully with her leg. It was pleasant that her leg excited my clit, but I did not get an orgasm. I watched her until I fell asleep.

Anni now did not want to turn off the light at night and slept only naked since that week. I breathed a sigh of relief, because she was processing the rape much faster than I had expected. At noon, when she came home from school, she went straight to her room and masturbated before lunch. The lust and physical pleasure returned to her with a great power to my delight. She sat down at the table afterwards with a beaming smile, she was completely relaxed. I suspected she knew that I was spying on her. At night she masturbated as vigorously as I did myself, the days of girlishly gentle rubbing were over, for good. I dampened my guilty conscience, leaving my door open at night and the little light on when I masturbated. I noticed a few times that she sat on the stairs and watched me secretly. So we didn't owe each other anything.

I called the cab office to say that I would be on duty tomorrow morning. Then I called Karl to see if he had any plans after duty, I picked him up at 5pm. He was taken aback, but kept his mouth shut when I drove off and started talking. He gritted his teeth and yelled that he was going to kill Ben, beat the scumbag to death! I told him everything, leaving nothing out. Well, I passed over the stupid fucking with Ben. He was grateful to me that I had stayed with Anni and supported her in these difficult hours. Gradually he had calmed down, but he scolded Ben terribly.

I said I had to be home by 8pm, Anni was at a girlfriend's and would be home at 8 sharp. Karl had no idea what I was talking about. He was just wondering where I was going. An abandoned factory site in the middle of town, zigzagging along the decayed buildings and then I parked the car in a covered loading bay. Karl looked around in amazement. Where? Why? What are we doing here?

I smiled and nuzzled the hairs on his neck. "This is my love bower, dear. This is where I go when I feel like fucking or getting fucked by a nice guy." He was speechless. "You mean we...?" He didn't speak it. "How often do you come here?" he asked, glaring at me. "Five or six times a week," I answered truthfully, adding, "Ben's one‐minute‐poking doesn't compare to what I've experienced here. I look at guys closely and I am not a hooker!" He grinned mischievously. "Wouldn't have thought it from my little Trixi" he said with a grin, "... and there's a little pocket money in there too, right?"?" I nodded, "he who can pay, pays gladly, believe me!"

I started to undress and, to be honest, I was a bit excited. I hadn't fucked him in 15, 16 years, I wasn't an innocent‐little girl anymore and he had fucked hundreds in the meantime, as Ilse kept bringing him fresh meat after all. He watched me undress and I noticed how he instantly jumped on. I crawled naked into the back seat. He was quickly undressed and crawled to me, in the back. Thank God his cock was still as big as it was 15 years ago. It was 15 years ago, we were still fucking days before Annis birth, him and 6 or 7 of his buddies.

We kissed, after so long it felt all like new. We cuddled intimately, our tongues lusting mightily as we French kissed, and I furtively rubbed my clit. He had never noticed it then and noticed nothing now. We cuddled and kissed for probably a quarter of an hour, my body quivering and trembling with lust. "Come, come, I want it!" I whispered, and he slowly and carefully penetrated. "You're still surprisingly tight, Trixi," he murmured against my ear. We fucked for a good fifteen minutes and my gasps and moans turned into a wonderful orgasm. I hissed and gasped against his ear and he squirted in rich, firm jets.

We fumed in silence. "You fucked every Tom, Dick and Harry back in the days, and that choked me off" he said between long puffs. I wasn't in an attacking mood. "I fucked your buddies because you wanted me to," I said softly, not wanting to argue. "Hell yeah, we drank too much and the devil got me there." I was silent, that was true. "And from then on everyone wanted to fuck you at the gentlemen's evening and I just nodded it off, I jerk!" said Karl bitterly. I was still silent. "But all the others, it hit me hard," he added to the thought. I lit a cigarette. "I was desperate to get you back with that heavy fucking, in my naivety I was," I said miserably, "but the dam was broken and I let the tide in." We were silent for a long time. "Days before Anni was born I fucked you with a woeful heart and I knew it was our last time," he said dreamily and I hissed, "you and 6 of your buddies!" He bowed his head dejectedly. "I was a stupid asshole, Trixi!" I added, "and I was just terribly horny for fucking and getting fucked, then."

We had to go. Karl muttered how romantic my spot was and we both laughed. It was a good, safe hiding place, but surrounded all around by ugly concrete walls. I said he was welcome to have dinner with Anni and me and spend the night at my place if he could get free. He nodded, saying he would talk to Ilse. I dropped him off in his street and drove home.

I put several packs of condoms in her bedside cabinet and gave Anni the green light, she was allowed to let someone spend the night in her room and not roll in the dirt behind bushes. Still, it was months before a girlfriend came to spend the night with her and I spied on their lovemaking through the crack in the door. Girl came after girl. Romantic memories crept through my mind. It took a few months more until Anni brought in some boys, finally. I spied as I did every time and was satisfied because all the boys had to put on a condom. I was only a little ashamed that I was a goddamn voyeur. But it was quite soon clear that Anni was not a lesbian, on the contrary, she learned very quickly to fuck like a goddess. She hardly fell in love and changed her lovers every few days.

This is how things stand at the moment. I filed for divorce and have to wait a year. Karl stays over at my place three or four times a week and he gets greatly along with Anni. Previously she had rarely seen her father, now they spent hours together doing schoolwork or discussing God and the world.

I know that he is seriously considering leaving Ilse, even though the variation‐rich fucking with so many different girls has become really important to him. I am also not yet ready to give up the lovemaking hours in my love arbor, on the contrary. — Maybe when he proposes to me?

Do we perhaps have a second chance?