Anna Maria's secret ‐ what Lila never learned

Anna Maria suffered greatly in her bigoted little world and had her secrets hidden even from Lila. Some things seemed so embarrassing to her that she couldn't tell even her best friend. For example, she had never told Lila that she often fucked herself in the asshole during her reveries — already as a little girl she had discovered this zone of excitement, quite by accident. When the little girl sensed that orgasm was beginning, she would fuck herself wildly with a finger in her asshole, prolonging the orgasm by minutes. Later she fucked herself in orgasm with a finger in her asshole and a finger in her vagina. She loved the explosions that lasted for minutes. It was only while she was growing up in the petty village stuff that she realized how ugh it was. No, a man had never taken her from behind, but she had heard many a thing and explored herself, coyly groping. Later, still in orgasm, she teased herself with a finger in her asshole, feeling terribly ashamed afterwards, but still finding it very arousing.

Anna Maria devoted only a few pages to Pico's distress treatment by Lila, but Pico understood that she was fully aware of everything. But there were also things there that she was hiding from Lila; and Anna Maria had written them down as clearly as someone, who needed to talk to someone out — her diary — perhaps to free herself from some inner pressure.

It had started — months before Lila's emergency treatments — with the Ambuschs wanting to move into a new apartment, but it hadn't been ready in time, so Anna Maria had to put them up in Pico's room and the small servants' quarters. Monika slept with the girls in the small chamber; Pico had to sleep with her, naked as she was too. Night after night Pico had woken up to chafe himself and listened fearfully into the darkness to see if she was really asleep. Then he again pressed himself against her body from behind and pressed his thing firmly between her butt cheeks, while he continued to rub carefully. As hard as he rubbed, he had never squirted before. Breathlessly she had listened more to her rising arousal than to her guardian angel, who bitterly begged her to finally put an end to it. How awake was Pico, and had he noticed that she had become horny? While the little one rubbed in her butt crease, she dreamed in a thousand variations what it would be like, if. Then she scolded herself again and resolved to talk to him seriously about it for once, because it just couldn't go on like this! Ugh!

Her hand moved involuntarily protectively and gently on the clit until the little dreamer had stopped chafing and had fallen asleep. The urgent, earnest admonitions of her guardian angel grew quieter and quieter the longer she stroked her clit in honeyed pain; the angel with the black wings won all the inner battles. Gradually the horniness overcame her fear; she reached a hand between her thighs and tried to push him gently into her bottom. The little one flinched when she touched him, she faltered and did not move again until he fell asleep again. In the following nights she anxiously made several new attempts, but always recoiled.

Anna Maria was very scared during her experiments. She wished she could get his cock inside her butthole. She was quite clumsy at first, Pico half woke up and she stopped startled, the movement froze in the middle. She waited until Pico was asleep, certainly asleep again. She kept making attempts, experimenting to see if his penis wouldn't — just a little bit — went into her butt hole. Of course it didn't. After all, it couldn't go, because her asshole was too tight and she was too tense. It could not go, not without his cooperation. But she did not even dare to imagine the impossible and unimaginable; she soon saw that it was not possible. If the touches became concrete, he would inevitably wake up.

As soon as he fell asleep, she touched the small erect penis, touched and groped him. One day he squirted, and she watched Pico smile in his dreams as he did so. The discovery that he kept getting strong erections throughout the night astonished her greatly. Tentatively and with the utmost care, she directed the little one, more and more frequently directing him to her cleft and touching her labia. When she was very aroused, she rubbed the tip of his cock with the greatest care on her clit; nevertheless Pico almost always had to squirt now. She reproached herself most violently afterwards, and endured the greatest fears that he might wake up and catch her sinning. The unchastity simply had to stop!

Practically, that didn't work right away, because the Ambuschs still had to stay until they could finally move. Night after night Anna Maria delayed going to bed, but of course noticed that Pico was secretly watching her undress and rubbing his erection under the covers. She guessed that Pico must have discovered only recently that he could squirt. Of course, she pretended not to notice for days and remained the busy mom who soon got up and went to bed. She had intended to talk to him seriously about these deadly sins, but she simply found no opportunity to do so. On the contrary, the dark angel kept whispering in her ear that there was nothing wrong with her sitting there naked, for example, and Pico a little bit with her nakedness. Of course, at first she indignantly dismissed this abominable thought, but her imagination did somersaults. Indecisively she suffered the duel of her two angels while she undressed, and this time, just this once, she gave in to the dark whispers and remained sitting tantalizingly, turning her head to the side and secretly looking at him in the mirror. Pico stared at her bare thighs, her breasts and her pubic cleft, and carefully masturbated under the covers.

Anna Maria secretly admired her little one's courage, taking her time and his; in this dim lighting he could not see anything anyway, she calmed her fears. Pico stared spellbound between her thighs, pushed the blanket aside and rubbed gently at first, then faster and faster. When she thought he was ready, she overcame her fear, bent far back and pretended to look for something behind her on the dresser. Her heart thumped furiously as her thighs opened slightly as she leaned back, revealing her most secret cunt. She looked in the mirror at Pico's wide eyes as she exposed her slit to his gaze and he immediately squirted violently. Suddenly, her exhibitionist frenzy subsided, leaving nothing but a rueful emptiness. Dazed by the clubbing of conscience, she pressed her knees together, for she was ashamed, felt dirty and disgusted with herself. She handled her cosmetics for a while longer to buy time and give Pico time to curl up in the blanket.

On the following evenings she quickly lay down next to Pico, who lay motionless and pretended to be asleep, although he secretly watched his mother undress as he did every evening and was aroused by her nakedness. She soon felt sorry for her brusqueness again, however, so that after some time she again succumbed to the inner whispers and remained sitting naked while she wrote in her diary for a long time. It was incomprehensible to her that he kept having strong erections all night long, although he masturbated several times in a row until he tired, while she sat naked by the little table and wrote her diary.

As long as she did not sleep alone in the room, she had to suppress her own sinful addiction; she felt far too inhibited to masturbate in his presence. Only very rarely, when she was awakened early in the morning by her body's urgent desire, did she quietly let herself slide onto the carpet beside the bed. In her pent‐up horniness, she felt pleasure in describing all the details in her diary on the one hand, but she also discovered with amazement her own desire to be naked. The longer she had to postpone the release, the more aroused she posed in front of Pico and opened her thighs. The longer she feverishly awaited her next release, the more often she caught herself carelessly fingering her clit while writing. Finger finger play with her clit and stopped, startled. She cast a tentative glance over at Pico, but he was so busy with himself that he certainly hadn't noticed anything.

She was terribly ashamed and scolded herself for thinking about her actions during the day, yet night after night she sat naked in front of the dresser and wrote in her diary. Innocent little Pico gawked at her nakedness and seemed to think nothing of pushing aside the blanket and masturbating. Anna Maria paused in her writing, watching him from under her thick lashes; soon she learned to control his arousal by spreading her thighs so wide that her vaginal cleft opened a little. Now, when she deftly positioned herself in the narrow cone of light from the table lamp, he could see everything, went wild and squirted instantly. My God, how horny and miserable at the same time she felt posing and watching! Again and again she took to talk him out of jerking off, or at least to make it clear that it was a very private thing — but she never found the courage. She tried to think of the arguments, but she didn't get far; why was it so private? why did it have to be hidden? what made her feel guilty and ashamed? Her conscience pressed her harder and harder the longer she sat naked writing her diary, provoking him more and more shamelessly, as if mindlessly stroking her cleft or groping herself while Pico stared at her slit and masturbated. Every time she watched him masturbate, her conscience pounded: Unchaste, Fornication, Unclean! She meant to escape the inner pressure and abruptly stopped writing — and no, masturbating naked —

.

One night, as he began to wretch in his dreams, his small penis could be seen under her buttfold to advance unimpeded from behind, because she was already fantasizing fiercely and lying on her side with her knee drawn up and devotedly masturbating. She thought of how much she had dreaded it and how much it had excited her at the same time then she guided his little cock with one finger until his little glans — not for the first time — penetrated into her wet vagina, just a little bit, but it felt good. When the little one — smiled in his dream — darted off again, she lifted her leg higher, stretched her bottom far back and opened it wide. By now, in her horniness, she didn't care that he had penetrated her vagina, and since his little penis didn't reach deep at all, she pressed her ass cheeks toward him, hoping and fearing at the same time what would happen. How good that did, his grinding!

The honeyed pain became burning hot. Her pulse throbbed painfully up into her throat as she overcame her shyness once again and felt for him with her hand. Gently she pulled and pushed the cock back and forth in her vagina and and almost forgot to breathe — it felt so good to push the little prick rhythmically into herself. Her heart was beating hard as she tried to bob along a bit, but it was better to thrust her abdomen rhythmically against him. Only when she had triggered her orgasm and felt his throbbing did she startle. He was squirting, completely unexpectedly! Her abdomen continued to undulate and roll in orgasm as the little guy squirted, for heaven's sake, deep inside her! Insane fear went up mute and hot in her throat, taking her breath away; paralyzed with horror, she paused and left her leg, still spread wide like a frog's leg, twitched in the air in orgasmic rhythm, making sure that her pelvis greedily sucked in his squirting in unison.

She felt his throbbing and squirting and only when her own arousal began to subside did she awaken from her paralysis and gently pushed him back until the little glans slipped out of her and came to rest on her moss. Once more it squirted slightly, making her wince. She pressed her hand firmly on her vagina and froze in shock: for heaven's sake, he had really squirted inside her! The maddening palpitations subsided only when she told herself that he was much too young to impregnate her. She moved away from him anyway and groped herself helplessly, then sighed sadly, feeling disgusted for a moment by the sticky stuff in her pubic hair.

She was scared out of her wits because Pico had squirted inside for the first time during their play; with a quick sideways glance, she made sure he was still — or again? — sleeping soundly. Thank God he was sound asleep and had not consciously witnessed her terrible mortal sin. Horniness and greed had instantly subsided, and Anna Maria bit her lips full of shame and self‐loathing, because of course she had to expect him to squirt; nevertheless, she was ashamed of the insane feeling of happiness she had experienced. She could not breathe for a moment when the image of the aged Don Benedetto, the old village priest, flashed in her mind; how often he had warned her in the confessional of the dangers of unchastity, although at that time she did not understand a word of it all! It was a terrible mortal sin, Anna Maria knew that, so the little one was never allowed to sleep with her again, who knows what else might have happened!

The whetting from before had stopped abruptly since Pico had discovered the squirting. But now he tried again to push himself against her. Gently but forcefully she pushed him and his stiff prick back and rolled all the way to the edge of the bed, staying on her side and turning her back on him. At night she woke up when he masturbated violently; usually she stayed awake for a long time while he started again after a short break. It was difficult for her to pretend to be asleep when she felt his touch on the skin of her buttock — it disgusted and excited her at the same time. Silently she lay on her side and felt the quick movements on her skin, felt the tickling of his wet cock. Only rarely did he dare push against her buttocks as he squirted. She held her breath involuntarily when she felt his orgasm approaching; and though she clenched her butt cheeks firmly he squeezed his glans between them. Full of fear and secret excitement, she continued to pretend to be asleep, not daring to "wake up" and indignantly stop him; usually he slipped off and splattered his load everywhere. But when he — stuck in the crease — squirted deep inside, she bit her lips lips tightly together, while eerily‐beautiful thought fragments flashed through her head. How good that he couldn—t impregnate her because he was still so young!

For days it rumbled within her, while the unchaste, the lewd, and the unimaginable spread within her; she fought hard with herself and the threatening beating of her conscience. The pressure grew stronger and stronger, the desire to sin and her addictive delusion became indescribably strong. Almost as if in a trance, she obtained strong sleeping pills, cleverly taking the opportunity to dissolve the sleeping pill in his vitamin juice, which he drank every night before falling asleep.

As soon as he fell asleep, she turned on the small light and began to feel and play with the sleeper's erection. Pico dreamed beautiful things and stirred in the dream, but continued to sleep deeply. She wanted to find out how soundly he was sleeping, so the first time she went to work very carefully and masturbated him. He didn't wake up and as his semen gushed out, her horniness grew. She did not dare to make the last step yet and watched with lust and bad conscience that after some time he had an erection again and groped himself awkwardly in the dream. Her sick heart beat hard as she masturbated him again, this time faster and more violently.

Despite all the fear and the awareness of committing one of the most heinous mortal sins, her greed grew because she was now sure that he was not waking up, and threw all misgivings overboard. In the following nights she opened wide, as wide as she could, and steered the little one as deep as she could. It worked best when she laid him on his side, approached him at right angles with her buttocks to his tail and held his arm. Half crazy with horniness, she pressed herself against the little one, masturbating and bobbing, rocking and fucking greedily until she had made him squirt all the way into her vagina. Possessed by lust and greed, she kept plugging him into herself as often as he became erect, stopping only when he was completely drained. She had given her soul to the devil and now nothing mattered; night after night she fucked the little one as if possessed and greedily absorbed his seed — a drowning woman dying of thirst in the ocean of lust. Pico was always exhausted in the morning and was bashfully silent about his piggish dreams.

Evening after evening, she drugged the little one with the vitamin juice, no longer sat teasingly while writing his diary, and he stopped masturbating. Lila bathed him twice a week and masturbated him without the bathing glove, Anna Maria stood at her spy post and quite soon had learned to masturbate standing up while watching, something she had done extremely rarely before. Usually Anna Maria stood under the door, held her skirt up and masturbated standing up. Lila couldn't see her because she was busy masturbating Pico, but Pico could always see her doing it. Lila had unbuttoned her house dress slowly at the beginning and as soon as he could look at her nakedness he squirted joyfully. Later, Lila proceeded to let him squirt into her open mouth. Eventually she took Pico's cock in her mouth and let him squirt deep into her throat, he liked that the most. Anna Maria orgasmed at the latest when Lila swallowed the semen.

Anna Maria finished writing her diary and went to bed. He was dreaming and mostly already had an erection. She let him enter her vagina from behind and began to masturbate with pleasure. He had already learned to fuck without her help after a few nights. The dreamer always fucked immediately after his cock entered her vagina. She usually let him cum three or four times in her vagina, then she was exhausted from masturbating and orgasms and wanted to sleep. He never woke up and could usually fuck again after a 10 or 15 minute break.

They often talked about his "piggish dreams" after he shamefully opened up to her. He described his dreams of fucking in such detail and salaciousness that it got hot in her vagina. She reassured him that it was not a sin to dream of fucking. He usually dreamed of fucking with his classmates or teachers. Sometimes with Monika, Aunt Lila — or with her. She then grabbed his hands, that would be okay, she was a female and not a statue of a saint. He lowered his head and admitted that he had also fucked his Saint Theresa in his dreams before.

She took refuge in delusion and silenced the admonishing conscience, she lapsed inwardly more and more, until one day she reflected. To be more precise, when she once discussed with Lila whether he perhaps already had a girlfriend to fuck and she interjected that he was still too young to impregnate anyone, Lila laughed at her. Of course he could already procreate now! Anna Maria was scared to death. She suffered in agony in her fear of becoming pregnant by him after all; she suffered terribly in the consciousness of having lost her soul forever with this mortal sin; and she suffered because she was afraid that Pico would discover it.

The madness had only lasted a short time, a little over a year, but now the fear of being impregnated by Pico and her guilty conscience snapped her back to normal. She was so ashamed of her sin that she immediately let go of Pico and took refuge in her masturbation fantasies again at night. Only now did she realize with horror that she had drugged her own son night after night for the sake of her lust, like the daughters of Lot had drugged their father. She got more and more pains in her heart area and often cried for hours until she calmed down.

Often she fantasized later during his masturbation, so that quite soon she was already gently helping and making it easy for him by willingly stretching herself open to him, while burying her face in the pillow, excited and guilty, she confessed to her diary, ashamed. But, she continued to write, excusing her fantasies, only because she herself was already in great distress, yet she enjoyed, in spite of all her remorse, her strong excitement when she imagined him fucking her and pouring himself deep inside her vagina. All the while, Anna Maria pretended and let Pico believe she was fast asleep while he masturbated.

She would have to talk to him about it soon, she thought to herself, because he was apparently rampantly weakened if he did it twice or even more in a row. It was too frequent, she thought, and it seemed to her that he masturbated even more furiously when it didn't go easily. It was certainly bad for his health, she thought; besides, someone had told her that it could make you blind or give you spinal curvature, which she didn't really want to believe; but she was too cowardly and remained mute in her inhibition. Pico was never allowed to know that she always watched him masturbate. She only breathed a sigh of relief when the Ambuschs were finally able to move into their new apartment and Pico was once again sleeping in his own room.

Over the next few months, Pico developed his bathing ceremony, to which Lila had inspired him and which Anna Maria now had to continue. She went through a roller coaster of emotions, because wrong was wrong and lust was lust. Anna Maria felt the weakness taking hold of her physically and kept giving in to Pico until he made her masturbate him. It had long been clear to her that the path in this direction must lead her further and further — and to what disaster exactly — but she was too weak to stop him. It was only logical that Pico should become even more intimate, groping her shame as she masturbated him.

One day she collapsed, and now began her tour of suffering in the hospital. When she had recovered, she was allowed to go home again, but usually she could only stay at home for a few weeks, until she was so bad again that she had to go to the hospital again. During this time she did not want to be alone with her heartache and asked Pico to sleep in her bed; he understood that she wanted her rest and tried to hold back, but most of the time he couldn't help it, the rascal!

Pico stayed on his side, trying even harder to remain undetected. While she slept or feigned sleep with deep breaths, he carefully pushed the blanket aside after only a few minutes. Anna Maria, for all her weakness, could never suppress her curiosity and raised her eyelids to watch him surreptitiously in the pale light of the of the street lights. She had long since accepted his love for her bottom and as a rule turned to the side, if she was not already lying on her side. She held out her buttocks to him — let him if he wanted! Her aching heart beat to bursting when she felt his quick rubbing, with which he approached the orgasm.

Pico turned to her and slid his cock between her buttocks. Then, when he tensed and squirted, she held her breath, too. As time went on, he became even more determined; the weaker she felt, the less she could resist him pushing his cock in deeper and deeper. As she pressed her knees together, he could only penetrate between her outer pubic ridges, but no deeper. She had a lustful, horny fear of the twitching, squirting glans that was spraying its load everywhere, not only on her outer labia, but also inside her vagina. She was too tired and weary to resist when Pico's seed shot hot and sticky inside her.

On the evening of a really darned day, when she was not at all well and everything had gone wrong, she had first fled from Pico to the edge of the bed. She became quite annoyed when she half woke up, although she was dead tired and feverish, because Pico was fidgeting erotically dreaming and chafed deep in her frizzy hair. Roughly he held her by her waist, and the feverish half‐dream made her think of Giuseppe, who had taken her hard and brutally when he begat Monika. She was frightened terribly, because she felt, how he pushed himself deeper and deeper between her labia, felt him squirt deep inside her vagina. Or was it a delirium of fever? She thought she could still feel Pico's wet glans and angrily withdrew from him, then, dog‐tired and feverish, she slept on. Further her dream slid to Riccardo, who had fucked her gently and in love. It was a beautiful dream, she was lying on her stomach in the grass, Riccardo had her skirt up and caressed her ass cheeks while he fucked her from behind in his gentle way. Stealthily her hand slipped under her belly and rubbed her clit.

And dreamed that Don Aldo, with whom she had fucked more often than with anyone else, began tentatively and hastily grinding in her vagina. Don Aldo was usually rarely behind her and he didn't act so amazingly stupid, so she stretched her ass out to him and opened her vagina invitingly wide. She sighed in the dream, but she had to distract the foolish old man from his necrophiliac perversion of fucking the comatose Lila, and involuntarily thrust her pelvis towards the old man, pulling and sucking him greedily inside her. The old man fucked her quickly and hastily. Anna Maria carefully groped for her clit and made herself a secret little orgasm, as always. She whooped because it felt so good to be fucked further in orgasm. She felt the old man's thrusting for a long time afterwards and was satisfied when he abruptly squirted away, because now he would leave Lila alone. It dawned on her at the same time that something was wrong, since Don Aldo usually fucked and squirted languidly and slowly and not in that powerful way. Something could not be right, because she felt his hot jets deep and strong as never before inside her vagina — gradually it dawned on her that Lila was no longer in a coma and that Don Aldo had been gone for a long time, and now began to "the sleeper" vigorously and terrified — resisted panic‐stricken to think of Pico's seed inside her. He slipped out and squirted the last of it on her pubis, and as the juice also ran sickeningly along her inner thigh down her inner thigh and cooled, she half‐turned with a sleepy "Hey, what are you doing!!!" and angrily pushed him back, yet somehow maintaining the camouflage of the half‐asleep. Pico, very startled, woke up from his doze and let go of her, but she too was frightened to death — for God's sake, he'd already put again squirted everything into her vagina!

Pico kept reading her account of this event, for he remembered it quite differently. He was surprised at that time by the early death of his mother; downright paralyzed he watched himself and his his environment, how they dealt with it, how they reacted to it. He hid his insane pain as best he could. He thought about her a lot when he was alone, recalling the past in his memory so he could think about her. When he was alone, he allowed his tears. Gradually the pain subsided a bit, gradually he could remember her without panicking and hurting. Gradually he also allowed his memories again. God was punishing him for the second time because of his sins, and he almost lost his mind because he could not escape this thought.

His mother was in the hospital several times in a row, and then at home for short weeks or days before she was again so bad that she came to the hospital again. She was always very weak and could hardly take care of the household; long ago they had given up the bathing procedure. She lay on her bed and wrote for hours in her diary when she was not sleeping. Monika immersed herself in her schoolwork and kept the household in order; silently she worked like an adult, not letting on that she was struggling with big problems at the same time. Unlike Pico, she sensed exactly that her mother was coming to an end and withdrew, hiding in the shelter of solitude, crying. Pico took care of his mother as best he could and slept with her; it had been her wish. He saw how dull and feverish she was at times, and controlled himself as best he could; but the primal forces in his loins made their way.

Thankfully, he later remembered that she never told anyone anything about his then squirting. Memories of the events surfaced as if from a deep, black lake, until he remembered with minute accuracy his secret jerking off next to her, his constant approach to his sleeping mother, and the many times he had thrust his cock into her vagina. She was sick and dead tired and tolerated him squeezing himself from behind between her buttocks and put the glans in the pubic fold and vagina when he rubbed. The sleeping patient never woke up, neither to his vigorous rubbing, nor when he squirted deep into her vagina. Until that night, when, after his squirting, she apparently continued to lustfully dream of fucking.

Pico had withdrawn, but she was glowing with fever, breathing shallow and choppy like a little bird. She turned over on her stomach in the dream, laying on the crumpled blanket as if on top of a lover, churning up and down excitedly. He was confused and at first did not know what exactly she was doing, for that she was asleep he could still see clearly in spite of the dim darkness. She made strangely‐lustful sounds and crumpled the blanket more and more into a dumpling. She stretched up the two hemispheres of her buttocks and darted back and forth, at the same time spreading her knees as far as she could. Now she rubbed her pubic mound firmly on the hand she had slid between herself and the blanket. Pico straightened up irritated and watched her from behind. In the pale twilight he could only guess at the outlines, but the bobbing of the buttocks and the hand in the pubic fold, only dimly visible underneath, fascinated him, made his little one stiffen again in no time.

He was confused and unsure if he should do it, but he got great desire and wanted to jerk off again. Slowly he approached her from behind and sharpened his prick, pressing it gently against her butt crease and feeling the glowing fever inside her. Deeper, to where her most intimate was, her dear vagina, he was in principle not allowed, he knew that. He rubbed himself as he mostly did, keeping his cock pressed against her buttocks, trying to hold his position even though she kept moving. No, no, he wasn't allowed down there, but to his amazement, the dreamer willingly opened her sanctum and pushed herself towards him, demanding again and again, until he tentatively ventured even further and pushed himself from behind between her buttocks pushed forward until he stuck a little bit inside her vagina. Excited and with his heart pounding, he paused, for it was strictly forbidden, what he was doing, but she pressed against him even harder, even more demanding.

The sweet dream seemed to fool her, for she opened her vagina invitingly and pushed it towards him, her feverishly hot hand grasping from below and gently pulling his cock forward until it had penetrated quite deeply. A flicker of thoughts of copulating dogs swept through his brain as he began to move like the male dog, unfamiliar and unsure. It seemed to him that she was somehow awake, for she knelt up quite deliberately and let herself be thrust and fucked, sighing comfortably. Pico was goaded by her sounds, her sighs and whoops and fucked her as fast as he could. He was completely confused as to what was happening and why it was happening today; he didn't understand what was going on with her and why she was letting it happen. She was suffering from her lust in a completely different way than he had known before; she was thrusting rhythmically towards him, thrusting toward her climax. Her abdomen rolled like waves in the surf as the orgasm came with a loud sigh, a sound that sounded pleasurably painful and incited him so that he went into a frenzy and poured himself inside her vagina. The seconds fell silently into the black ocean. Only now she seemed to wake up and hissed angrily at him; he was terribly frightened and pretended to be half asleep and rolled to the side muttering. Since then he was afraid of doing something wrong again and from now on did nothing at all. In the nights he waited silently until she slept, before he sought the lonely redemption.

Pico was not immediately clear about it, but after the next longer hospital stay everything had changed. Anna Maria spent the whole day passive and silent in bed, was weakened by the cancer disease and visibly deteriorated. She was completely distraught, because she knew that she would only live a few more weeks. Pico only noticed that she no longer snarled at him and did not mind that he snuggled up, cuddled up to her — he took courage and resumed his former habits again. He began, after masturbating again between her buttocks from behind and inserting the glans into the pubic fold, thrusting his cock in orgasm deep inside her sweet vagina. Anna Maria was very weak, feverish and tired; she tolerated his impetuosity, for she was already addicted to mortal sin anyway; so it did not matter what happened now. She had lost her soul, and this lostness completely paralyzed her, made her completely passively and patiently let everything pass over her.

Anna Maria, finding this sideways position uncomfortable, approached him and lifted lifted one leg, made a hollow cross and stretched her buttocks compliantly towards him. Pico did not dare to fuck her, as he was afraid of it, but he took her passive acquiescence as consent for everything else. Consent for everything else. She was sick and tired to death and tolerated everything, but he didn't dare to fuck her regularly — squirt in, yes, but not fuck. He touched her while he masturbated and only stopped when he felt it coming. Now he slowly penetrated deep into her vagina, as deep as he could, and let it squirt pleasantly.

Anna Maria did not want after some time also this strength‐sapping side position any longer. She turned on her belly, tightened her knees and stretched her buttocks up. Pico stared at her buttocks, at the beautiful mound that curved underneath. He turned on the little night light and looked at the densely hairy pubic area, where her most sacred cunt shining wetly like an opened fruit. He was fascinated, because up to now he had seen mainly the vaginas of young girls. What fascinated him especially was the large, bag‐like fold of skin, under which her clitoris was hidden. Carefully, he pulled this hood‐like fold of skin all the way back to see the clitoris. Like the rest of a tiny finger or of a tiny penis growing half out of her pubic mound, it peeked out, a fingernail‐sized fruit within a fruit. He palpated it very carefully, but did not dare to stimulate her regularly because it twitched every time he touched the clit. He masturbated all agitated and splashed his white juice on the red fruit. The next time he came even closer because her silent forbearance encouraged him. He stared at the glorious fruit and palpated it as he masturbated, slid closer on his knees, and when he sensed that it was coming, he put his cock in her vagina and waited until it squirted of its own accord. From now on he knelt again and again behind herand looked horny and greedy at the densely hairy mound under her round buttocks, looked at her cleft, before he put his cock lightly and gently into her vagina. So he had both hands free and held her bottom with both of them. masturbated. When it came to him, he let himself sink in very deep and poured out pleasantly, twitching and throbbing, squirting his hot semen into the vagina. He could only do it because she was not looking at him, because he was still afraid of fucking his mother. Always earlier, more and more impatiently he put it in her vagina, but it did not come as easily as before; and because the orgasm didn't come right away, he moved back and forth a bit.., fucking until it squirted. No, he scrupulously avoided making it look like fucking, but he experimented, penetrating at different angles and trying to find the best position to squirting. Anna Maria understood that he only dared to thrust a little when he didn't feel observed and because she was not looking at him in that position.

At this point in her diary she recalled how it was the first time she did it with him completely consciously; everything up to then had taken place hidden and secretly. It was after her first hospital stay, when she had learned her diagnosis and was completely distraught about the near end. Pico was shy and completely frightened, looking down when they saw each other again. In bed at night, he whispered that it was all his fault. He believed his little impertinences in the bathroom, his blackmailing her into making him masturbate, his groping: all this would have ruined her. He was afraid to her and felt deeply guilty about her illness. She tried to calm him down, to make him understand the the nonsense of his fear, it was the cancer and nothing and nobody else! but Pico seemed frozen in his fear. Anna Maria, who at first had felt only a leaden indifference, was only overcome by an almost feverish horniness. She wanted an end to the secrecy, she wanted to give herself to him while she still could. This thought clung to her brain, did not let go of it the whole night. The more anxious Pico was, the more she wanted it, wanted it desperately, wanted it now and wanted to help him overcome the fear.

She was waiting for him the other day in the afternoon when he came home from school and she threw back the blanket under which she was completely naked. She held out both arms to him; "Come, my little one, come to me!" He stood frightened in front of her bed and stared at her nakedness, couldn't take his eyes off her, while his erection grew violently; then he crawled obediently to her on the bed and snuggled up. She quickly undressed him and embraced him. She knew how unfamiliar it was for both of them as she half sat up and pressed him to her chest, but she was determined to fight his fear. Her body was glowing, she had been masturbating in anticipation during the day... increased.

Slowly she pulled him onto her lap and caressed him, stroking his back and bottom. Pico felt very clumsy, but he also embraced her, burying his face frightened against her neck. He was confused because it was so unaccustomed the way she had called him to bed, the way she held him, and the way she was stroking him now. From the stroking he quickly became horny, soon his prick was firm and stiff. She held him tightly pressed against her and after a while grabbed with one hand between her thighs; gently and carefully she inserted his cock in. Pico clung even more tightly to her and hid his his face against her shoulder, murmuring his fear into her ear, hazily remembering his foster father, Don Aldo. Never he had lain on top of her like that, with her aged ass tucking the tip in her black, densely hairy forest slowly pumping up and down. She continued stroking him and soothing him murmuring softly, stai zito, my little one, be quiet!

He was afraid and wept, for he felt that it was wrong what they were doing and because it was only her husband's place to lie on top of her in front. At the same time it was very pleasant and he did not need to be afraid, because it was she who wanted it now. Anna Maria sank back into the pillows and held him tightly against her; she waited for a few eternally long minutes to see if he would overcome his fear of fucking would overcome itself; but Pico did not dare. Motionless they lay there, only Anna Maria's hands moved, gently caressing Pico's back and buttocks, then his lower legs and his testicles. She could clearly feel Pico's reaction to the stroking of his testicles; she gently continued stroking him, sometimes touching the lowest part of his cock, where it grows out above the testicles. He lay motionless on top of her and felt how this delicate caressing made him hornier and hornier, but he always had to remember that he was lying on top of his mother and was inside her vagina like a man, and he was not really allowed to do that. It was something completely different when he sneaked up behind her in the dark or when he lay on top of her like a man in full daylight; it was wrong. She teased his testicles and the shaft of his cock more and more intensely and his face as she felt him slowly begin to throb. Throbbing. Pico's eyes filled with tears again and he whispered that she shouldn't look at him, no, please don't look at me!

Anna Maria's hands, caressing his buttocks and sex, felt the squirting still coming before him. Crying, he tensed up and whispered that she should not look at him, and held on to her neck tightly while she continued to caress him lovingly. His pomus muscles tensed violently as he squirted in short, powerful jets. Anna Maria felt the hard cock inside her twitching, feeling his semen spurt. She hugged him even more gently and stroked his buttocks, pressing him into her vagina energetically. Pico held her neck, heart pounding, wearily crying. He listened inside himself, feeling for his squirting, which lasted for a long time and was somehow agonizingly wonderful. Anna Maria held him embraced, for quite a while longer while he happily cried softly and whispered once again that she must not look at him. He lay completely on top of her and felt her innermost being with inconceivable clarity, as if his cock had eyes or feelers. How and fine it felt around his cock, how protected and sheltered he was in her warm, wet womb! He was safe! He had already fallen asleep against her shoulder when she later gently laid him down and covered him with the blanket.

Many weeks passed, during which she was alternately at home or in the hospital. Pico was still scared, and she was far too sick and too tired to think of sex on her own, but his agility was sometimes contagious. During the nights when she felt his urging, she thought, yes, she would probably die soon, but she wanted to experience it one more time, one very last time perhaps, even though she was deathly ill. She knelt up, arched her buttocks high and spread her thighs wide apart. He was much too young to understand right away that this was the most clearest invitation he had ever received. She buried her face deep into the pillow, to make him feel that he was unobserved and could do what he wanted. He understood the invitation, but in the end he still needed the final call, whispered his question shyly and huskily into her neck. Anna Maria waited not a single second before nodding slightly her head.

"Yes, Pico, yes," she cried, thinking with dismay what her guardian angel might think of her, "Yes, I want it!" Pico looked at her hairy pubic mound and vagina for a long time, before he carefully penetrated. He held her hips with both hands and fucked her gently and infinitely softly. Anna Maria sighed and cried into her pillow, she kept thinking of her lost soul, but then she secretly masturbated as she felt unbridled desire for it while being fucked. Pico watched her in spite of her secrecy and when he felt her orgasm approaching, he suddenly had to fuck very animalistically fast. He felt exactly how she masturbated the clitoris furiously; he was getting more and more aroused by her suffering moans and could no longer hold back and squirted violently, squirting in the middle of her gasping, moaning masturbation's orgasm. Anna Maria was grateful that he was behind her and not looking at her, for she had to continue masturbating compulsively. He sank languidly back on his heels and watched her fascinated, even though she was feeling the vehemence with which she frantically drove herself to climax terribly ashamed despite her lack of strength.

They never spoke of it, for during the next few weeks Anna Maria became increasingly weaker, so that he did not dare to fuck her again. It was a kind of slow decay that his mother steadily and inexorably took away from him. Stunned, he accompanied her in the ambulance to the hospital. Weeks later she came home, pale and thin, fragile transparent emaciated to the bone.

He was very young and unfamiliar with death; dismayed, he approached Monika, who looked at him for a long and then nodded silently. "Yes, she will die soon, and we must love her, embrace her, and be there for her until to the last minute." Pico threw his arms around her neck and cried without restraint. Monika held him silently crying, for she was like him deadly sad.

Pico was strong, although he felt tiny and powerless. But his mother needed him, needed someone to be there at night when she was afraid. He, the small, lanky Pico, held his tall, frighteningly feathery mother tightly in his arms and cradled her gently like a little child until she fell asleep. He was filled with concern and compassion and watched over her restless dreams; he no longer thought for a second about sex. On the contrary, he thought a lot about the events of the last weeks and his share in their sins, but after her death Pico repressed all this thoroughly and when he remembered it later, it seemed to him that it was all this had only been dreamed and had never actually happened — he told these secrets to no one, neither to Monika nor to Lila.

The last pages of her diary revolved around the thought that she had corrupted Pico a year long and through her fault had dragged him down into the abyss of mortal sin. Pico always wept when he read her last lines.

"God bless you, my son," she had written, "I have hurt you so! I pray that you forgive me someday!"

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